“So, you’ve drafted a pile of shit…” by PBitters

You put in a decent amount of research.  Or, maybe you’re like me, and you put in 15 minutes on a website prior to your draft given that you were invited into your 2nd league 20 minutes before the draft because some dude’s brother-in-law backed out due to familial reasons.  (read: his wife put the kibosh)

Regardless of the pre-come, you’re stuck with the out-come.  If you’re like me, you’re a decent student of baseball and certainly are a strong enough fantasy player that you should be able to make a chAmpion out of a chUmpion.  But not even the greatest Generals could overcome certain odds.  Even Custer realized how ill-prepared he was as he was choking on feathers.  There’s just time in which you have to realize that no matter the research and effort you put into this year’s draft…you’ve ended up with a complete pile of shit.

You’ve recognized the odor coming from you computer is that of your fantasy team.  Your second round pick of Josh Hamilton followed up by your pick of Joe Mauer is more and more feeling like that burrito from Chipotle you dominated last night, and now it’s made it’s way through your lower intestine and is resembling your fantasy season more and more.  Grab the triple-ply and a plunger baby, because this could get ugly.

But wait…there’s hope.  “Give up should not you” as Yoda once said.*  

Just because your team has underperformed thus far this year does not mean that you should write off the year.  Don’t give up hope young Jedi.  There is still time.  One need only dig a little and find those couple guys who will help you start to make you’re way outta the basement.  Now listen, we’re not talking about grabbing a guy who will take you from worst-to-first.  You’d need to have Disney in your pedigree for that story to come true.

You’ve got no Angels in your Outfield, so let’s take a quick look at some guys who could help bring you out of the doldrums**:

• Ryan Roberts, OF, ARI – This is a 30 year-old guy with a couple years ML experience and knows the game.  He is playing well early and picking up games at 3B, meaning his corner qualification may not be far away in your league.  He’s hitting well above .300 with 4 taters and 11 RBI this year so he’s certainly showing he can swing the bat.  He’s certainly the gamble you need to consider.  I’d think of dropping: Angel Pagan, Jason Bay, Austin Jackson. 
• Danny Espinosa, 2B, WAS – This Dirtbag outta Long Beach State is coming up pretty strong.  15 RBI through 18 games is pretty strong for a 2B considering the depth at the position.  Early potential ROY performance (but the season is young, let’s not get carried away yet)
• Bartolo Colon, SP, NYY – Yes, his listed wait might be off by a good 100 lbs, but the guy still can throw a baseball.  And he’s pitching for the New York Yankees.  Last I heard, they are pretty good.  He’ll get wins. He’ll get 1.25 K per inning.  He’ll have a 1.35 whip.  Not great, but if you’re in dead last…he’s better than what you’ve got.
• Matt Lindstrom, RP, COL – Odds are that if you’re in dead last, you need saves.  This proven save hawk already has 2 this year.  He’s a decent pitcher who’s been in the closer role previously, so if things go awry in Colorado, he may get a look.  Better if you have him on your roster now before they schmoes above you get him.

Well, that’s about all I can offer at this point.  If these guys aren’t your magic formula, then you may need to take a closer look at your own personal situation.  Regardless though, you should not give up hope.  You’ve paid in a bit of cash to be a part, so why phone it in the first few weeks?  Your wife didn’t, so why should you?

As always, that’s the Bitters truth:

PBitters

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*Yoda never said that.  But it sorta sounds like he should’ve, right?

**Recommendations based on a 12-team league, 22-man roster